Comments on: Blogging with the Mother Hen http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/ boys, books, blogging and photography Fri, 10 Sep 2010 16:20:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Janel Messenger http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-13068 Janel Messenger Wed, 10 Mar 2010 23:45:57 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-13068 "It's probably smarter to take ownership of our public identities." That's a really interesting point Meredith. I hadn't thought of it that way before. It's interesting though. Thanks! I've struggled with the whole online identity thing because I started writing online over 14 years ago, using my real name, when the internet was still safe. Or at least when computers were no attraction to creepy people. Nerds have better things to do. ; ) lol I've often said that had I known what it would grow into, I would have picked a pseudo name and never looked back. I still debate if disappearing "completely" might not be a good thing. Over the years I've had people call me out of the blue and send letters and packages - after finding my info online. They've all been sweet people, but I'm still not sure how I feel about it. As the world keeps getting smaller, I have wondered more than once when someone will show up on my doorstep. And if I even want that. Good questions. Thanks for the discussion Darcy. : ) .-= Janel Messenger´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.janelmessenger.com/?p=166" rel="nofollow">WP & Commenting Issues</a> =-. “It’s probably smarter to take ownership of our public identities.”
That’s a really interesting point Meredith. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. It’s interesting though. Thanks!

I’ve struggled with the whole online identity thing because I started writing online over 14 years ago, using my real name, when the internet was still safe. Or at least when computers were no attraction to creepy people. Nerds have better things to do. ; ) lol I’ve often said that had I known what it would grow into, I would have picked a pseudo name and never looked back. I still debate if disappearing “completely” might not be a good thing.

Over the years I’ve had people call me out of the blue and send letters and packages – after finding my info online. They’ve all been sweet people, but I’m still not sure how I feel about it. As the world keeps getting smaller, I have wondered more than once when someone will show up on my doorstep. And if I even want that.

Good questions. Thanks for the discussion Darcy. : )
Janel Messenger´s last blog ..WP & Commenting Issues My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Katy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12598 Katy Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:20:27 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12598 Hmmmm. . . .I guess I'm in the minority here. I started off trying to be anonymous and then my son was born and was so incredibly sick and I wanted the world to pray for him--not just some unknown baby, but CHARLIE. I've heard others express this sentiment as well. AFter that, it seemed silly to try to keep my name a secret. LIke someone else said, I don't really like cutesy nicknames--if you're going to go that route than just make something else. My son's health is what my blog is about. About raising him and dealing with his health on a day to day basis. To remove that information would literally make my blog about nothing at all. I think of my blog as a beacon to other parents--I life preserver when you feel like there isn't one. Without that element, I don't think I'd bother to do this. . . who knows? That said, my son's health issues are so severe that I doubt seriously anyone could meet him and not know that they exist--I'm not sharing something that COULD be kept private. I guess my final thought is that I think the idea of anonymity is really a farce--people find out. Things are known. If not on the internet then at the supermarket, where your husband works, or within circles of people you hang out with. If you interact with others in any way then you're exposing yourself to potential issues. .-= Katy´s last blog ..<a href="http://birdonthestreet.blogspot.com/2010/02/good-things_24.html" rel="nofollow">Good Things</a> =-. Hmmmm. . . .I guess I’m in the minority here. I started off trying to be anonymous and then my son was born and was so incredibly sick and I wanted the world to pray for him–not just some unknown baby, but CHARLIE. I’ve heard others express this sentiment as well. AFter that, it seemed silly to try to keep my name a secret. LIke someone else said, I don’t really like cutesy nicknames–if you’re going to go that route than just make something else.

My son’s health is what my blog is about. About raising him and dealing with his health on a day to day basis. To remove that information would literally make my blog about nothing at all. I think of my blog as a beacon to other parents–I life preserver when you feel like there isn’t one. Without that element, I don’t think I’d bother to do this. . . who knows? That said, my son’s health issues are so severe that I doubt seriously anyone could meet him and not know that they exist–I’m not sharing something that COULD be kept private.

I guess my final thought is that I think the idea of anonymity is really a farce–people find out. Things are known. If not on the internet then at the supermarket, where your husband works, or within circles of people you hang out with. If you interact with others in any way then you’re exposing yourself to potential issues.
Katy´s last blog ..Good Things My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Meredith http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12566 Meredith Fri, 26 Feb 2010 03:46:33 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12566 There is zero privacy, anywhere, anymore--whether you write online or just live life! It's why I no longer worry about the fine points of pseudonyms, etc. It's probably smarter to take ownership of our public identities. Protect our images by being proactive. Preserve family moments by sharing only what we would want in the newspaper if we were suddenly the object of attention...or had a child one day running for President. .-= Meredith´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LikeMerchantShips/~3/ooAWw2ci9V4/how-to-calm-down-when-someone-painted.html" rel="nofollow">How To Calm Down When Someone Paints On The Dining Room Table</a> =-. There is zero privacy, anywhere, anymore–whether you write online or just live life! It’s why I no longer worry about the fine points of pseudonyms, etc. It’s probably smarter to take ownership of our public identities. Protect our images by being proactive. Preserve family moments by sharing only what we would want in the newspaper if we were suddenly the object of attention…or had a child one day running for President.
Meredith´s last blog ..How To Calm Down When Someone Paints On The Dining Room Table My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Meredith http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12565 Meredith Fri, 26 Feb 2010 03:40:06 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12565 Kimba, I like your goal--to move from a house blog to a home blog. You are so approachable and empathetic in person. I can only think how bringing out the real you will enhance the decor. .-= Meredith ´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LikeMerchantShips/~3/ooAWw2ci9V4/how-to-calm-down-when-someone-painted.html" rel="nofollow">How To Calm Down When Someone Paints On The Dining Room Table</a> =-. Kimba, I like your goal–to move from a house blog to a home blog.

You are so approachable and empathetic in person. I can only think how bringing out the real you will enhance the decor.
Meredith ´s last blog ..How To Calm Down When Someone Paints On The Dining Room Table My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Ashley @ Domestic Fashionista http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12556 Ashley @ Domestic Fashionista Fri, 26 Feb 2010 01:08:58 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12556 This is wonderful and has really gotten me thinking. I recently got married and am seeing my little craft blog turn into more of a home blog. I have recently felt torn even at the amount of public information I was sharing with people on facebook (and those are people I know, not bloggy land people). I want to still speak about me and my husband and one day future children, but I can in a way that I do not use their names or too much public info. I am so glad I am thinking about this now before I have children. I am not sure I have the time or energy to go back and change my husband's name and I am not ready to delete posts...but I am able to know I can protect my children's future privacy. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is hard to protect yourself over the internet these days, but just because things change doesn't mean we shouldn't still be careful. This is wonderful and has really gotten me thinking. I recently got married and am seeing my little craft blog turn into more of a home blog. I have recently felt torn even at the amount of public information I was sharing with people on facebook (and those are people I know, not bloggy land people). I want to still speak about me and my husband and one day future children, but I can in a way that I do not use their names or too much public info. I am so glad I am thinking about this now before I have children. I am not sure I have the time or energy to go back and change my husband’s name and I am not ready to delete posts…but I am able to know I can protect my children’s future privacy. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is hard to protect yourself over the internet these days, but just because things change doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still be careful.

]]> By: Blogging with the Mother Hen, Parte Due. http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12535 Blogging with the Mother Hen, Parte Due. Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:33:08 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12535 [...] you’re new to this discussion, please read: Blogging with the Mother Hen – the first post. Especially read the amazing, thoughtful comments. The real gems are [...] [...] you’re new to this discussion, please read: Blogging with the Mother Hen – the first post. Especially read the amazing, thoughtful comments. The real gems are [...]

]]> By: Angie/Pebblekeeper http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12532 Angie/Pebblekeeper Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:07:57 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12532 I have been reading through the posts in my in box - I'd like to encourage the bloggers to find a way to keep their activities on line and public. We recently moved to a town where there appears to be no homeschoolers, no Christian moms, and no children. Fear keeps everyone inside and away from the "tourists" at the beach. I set up our blog so that anyone in our situation looking for fellowship will be able to find it, and to share how we homeschool/unschool middle school. In Real Life, This week I lost my wallet in a public area, and my son left the keys to the car in the lock of the trunk when he retrieved our crabbing gear. Inside were our bags, purse, bills, etc. A couple from a town an hour away turned in our wallet with the change still in it, and no one touched our car. This happened while reading these posts, and giggling at how easy it is for someone who WANTS to, to get our identification, in our mail box, in the phone book, in conversation at the store, following you home, etc. I am all for keeping business and personal separate, I think that is is a different matter with websites - but here - in the blogging, sharing encouraging world - I have only seen joy - and never heard of bad experiences - other than an overzealous reader. In conversation In Real Life or on line, it is a good practice to not think/say/do anything that you wouldn't want plastered on the 5pm local news. I've actually learned that lesson in real life. Keep the cute embarrassingly funny stories to share in emails to the family, but even in an email, it can become an online forward sensation quickly. I encourage you to not let the online mom blog community be so sanitary that we discourage others to join us! Shutting out those who will "never be like them". Honest. Real. Life. The theme of hurting the family business, I understand, and the theme of not leading someone to your front door with a handful of personal information, I understand. First Names, General Areas, Nick Names. But take a trip to your local library - and look through the books that are published. No nick names, no generalities, unless it is fiction. The Sketch book that I am reading has the sketches from her children, and has the address to contact her in the book. The Math book I am reading has his contact information and picture and children's names. The Newspaper articles I read have names, at least first, and contact @ info.com type communication. I ask you to look at the fear issue. Really look into it. Who are you afraid of? What will they do? What has God called us to do ? Go and make disciples of all men. How do we do that, if we are unwilling to share how we follow Christ? If the 40 great blogs who tagged on to this post disappeared into the private sector - it would be a great loss. And remember, it only takes one crazy aunt pearl to forward something you typed, and it is no longer private. :) I have REALLY enjoyed reading all of your attached blogs here. :) Great writers! Please don't disappear! .-= Angie/Pebblekeeper´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/AViewByTheLake/~3/jbiaJRr7SVY/walking-on-water.html" rel="nofollow">Walking on Water</a> =-. I have been reading through the posts in my in box – I’d like to encourage the bloggers to find a way to keep their activities on line and public. We recently moved to a town where there appears to be no homeschoolers, no Christian moms, and no children. Fear keeps everyone inside and away from the “tourists” at the beach. I set up our blog so that anyone in our situation looking for fellowship will be able to find it, and to share how we homeschool/unschool middle school.
In Real Life, This week I lost my wallet in a public area, and my son left the keys to the car in the lock of the trunk when he retrieved our crabbing gear. Inside were our bags, purse, bills, etc. A couple from a town an hour away turned in our wallet with the change still in it, and no one touched our car. This happened while reading these posts, and giggling at how easy it is for someone who WANTS to, to get our identification, in our mail box, in the phone book, in conversation at the store, following you home, etc.
I am all for keeping business and personal separate, I think that is is a different matter with websites – but here – in the blogging, sharing encouraging world – I have only seen joy – and never heard of bad experiences – other than an overzealous reader.
In conversation In Real Life or on line, it is a good practice to not think/say/do anything that you wouldn’t want plastered on the 5pm local news. I’ve actually learned that lesson in real life. Keep the cute embarrassingly funny stories to share in emails to the family, but even in an email, it can become an online forward sensation quickly.
I encourage you to not let the online mom blog community be so sanitary that we discourage others to join us! Shutting out those who will “never be like them”. Honest. Real. Life.
The theme of hurting the family business, I understand, and the theme of not leading someone to your front door with a handful of personal information, I understand. First Names, General Areas, Nick Names.
But take a trip to your local library – and look through the books that are published. No nick names, no generalities, unless it is fiction. The Sketch book that I am reading has the sketches from her children, and has the address to contact her in the book. The Math book I am reading has his contact information and picture and children’s names. The Newspaper articles I read have names, at least first, and contact @ info.com type communication.
I ask you to look at the fear issue. Really look into it. Who are you afraid of? What will they do? What has God called us to do ? Go and make disciples of all men. How do we do that, if we are unwilling to share how we follow Christ?
If the 40 great blogs who tagged on to this post disappeared into the private sector – it would be a great loss. And remember, it only takes one crazy aunt pearl to forward something you typed, and it is no longer private. :)
I have REALLY enjoyed reading all of your attached blogs here. :) Great writers! Please don’t disappear!
Angie/Pebblekeeper´s last blog ..Walking on Water My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12531 Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:35:46 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12531 My 18-year-old son and I were digging back in my archives laughing at some old stuff last night, and I found 2006 posts with names. I really thought I'd cleaned all that up, but looks like I have some editing to do. .-= Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/MyHomeSweetHome/~3/5kJLZX3Nbj8/" rel="nofollow">What It Truly Means to Teach</a> =-. My 18-year-old son and I were digging back in my archives laughing at some old stuff last night, and I found 2006 posts with names. I really thought I’d cleaned all that up, but looks like I have some editing to do.
Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home´s last blog ..What It Truly Means to Teach My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: on the eastern journey http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12522 on the eastern journey Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:21:08 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12522 Thanks for these thoughts. Since I have no stories from my childhood, I always thought that our kids would appreciate the moments we've jotted down on the blog. I am now reflecting on the opposite side. We started our blog for our family and friends because we moved to China. It was our way of staying connected. Back in 2004, blogging wasn't anything like it is today. So, yes, we used our names and where we live in China. My purpose for blogging is to record our memories and to not feel so isolated from those who love us the most. That said, somehow we've acquired some readership. I have no clue why. So, I'm thinking about making our blog private, but I do feel sad to lose the connection that the blogging world has become. .-= on the eastern journey´s last blog ..<a href="http://easternjourney.com/2010/02/sianna-this-is-home/" rel="nofollow">Sianna, this is home!</a> =-. Thanks for these thoughts. Since I have no stories from my childhood, I always thought that our kids would appreciate the moments we’ve jotted down on the blog. I am now reflecting on the opposite side. We started our blog for our family and friends because we moved to China. It was our way of staying connected. Back in 2004, blogging wasn’t anything like it is today. So, yes, we used our names and where we live in China. My purpose for blogging is to record our memories and to not feel so isolated from those who love us the most. That said, somehow we’ve acquired some readership. I have no clue why. So, I’m thinking about making our blog private, but I do feel sad to lose the connection that the blogging world has become.
on the eastern journey´s last blog ..Sianna, this is home! My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: laura @ hollywood housewife http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12520 laura @ hollywood housewife Thu, 25 Feb 2010 06:50:39 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12520 There's been a lot of chatter on this topic recently. I use my real name, but have nicknames for my husband and my daughter. I have the same solid reasons behind that as everyone else. I think we have to walk a fine line between owning our stories and protecting others. These are OUR stories to tell. As long as you're not hurting or exploiting someone else in any way, I think it's important to keep your voice if you desire that. I understand the bloggers who shutter up, or want to crawl back into their hole after laying themselves bare in a post, but I hate to think about all the stories we're missing because of fear or over-caution. .-= laura @ hollywood housewife´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/HollywoodHousewife/~3/xCO1l3VtzkY/this-is-a-production-designer.html" rel="nofollow">this is a production designer</a> =-. There’s been a lot of chatter on this topic recently. I use my real name, but have nicknames for my husband and my daughter. I have the same solid reasons behind that as everyone else.

I think we have to walk a fine line between owning our stories and protecting others. These are OUR stories to tell. As long as you’re not hurting or exploiting someone else in any way, I think it’s important to keep your voice if you desire that.

I understand the bloggers who shutter up, or want to crawl back into their hole after laying themselves bare in a post, but I hate to think about all the stories we’re missing because of fear or over-caution.
laura @ hollywood housewife´s last blog ..this is a production designer My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Debi http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12510 Debi Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:43:12 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12510 Darcy - you really are a thoughtful mother and a 'mother hen' to all us newbie bloggers as well. I appreciate your desire to help others be successful. I noticed that about you way back and I've made major decisions according to your advice. My hubby's a minister and has always asked the kids permission before sharing personal stories. Our older kids have found that endearing and seem to not be scarred by the spotlight. I think that same regard is gracious from us 'blogger moms' - especially you FAMOUS ones. :) As far as nick names - we have 11 kids - I have a hard enough time getting their real names straight. I've chosen a first name basis on the blog without mentioning the exact city we live in. It works for me. I also don't post links to my kids blogs for obvious reasons. BTW - I'm loving this blogging experience - thanks to YOU! .-= Debi´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.lifeaboveandbeyond.com/1449/about-those-mountains/" rel="nofollow">About those Mountains …</a> =-. Darcy – you really are a thoughtful mother and a ‘mother hen’ to all us newbie bloggers as well. I appreciate your desire to help others be successful. I noticed that about you way back and I’ve made major decisions according to your advice.

My hubby’s a minister and has always asked the kids permission before sharing personal stories. Our older kids have found that endearing and seem to not be scarred by the spotlight. I think that same regard is gracious from us ‘blogger moms’ – especially you FAMOUS ones. :)

As far as nick names – we have 11 kids – I have a hard enough time getting their real names straight. I’ve chosen a first name basis on the blog without mentioning the exact city we live in. It works for me. I also don’t post links to my kids blogs for obvious reasons.

BTW – I’m loving this blogging experience – thanks to YOU!
Debi´s last blog ..About those Mountains … My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Tammy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12497 Tammy Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:18:10 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12497 I use our first initials but I use my name when I comment on people's blogs .-= Tammy´s last blog ..<a href="http://t-l-b-world.blogspot.com/2010/02/happy-birthday-baby-boy.html" rel="nofollow">Happy Birthday Baby Boy!</a> =-. I use our first initials but I use my name when I comment on people’s blogs
Tammy´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Baby Boy! My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Anna K. http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12496 Anna K. Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:33:56 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12496 I'm late to the comment party but I was so moved by your post and point of view that I just had to reply. I'm pretty much in tears, in fact, I was so moved. Yes, I do use pseudonyms for my family and I'm careful about my content. For instance, when the Hubs was deployed I didn't post locations, details, etc. My family is a huge part of my blogging subject matter, but I'm feeling a change in the wind...and reading this heart-felt post confirms some of what I've been feeling. I've been considering not blogging as much about my boys and the hubs and focusing more on my art. Not because I don't think them worthy of being shared but because, the Bubs is getting to be older and more aware of what I blog about and the Hubs is going through some major health things that I'm sure he'd rather not have blabbed about. It's out of protection and my respect/love for them that I am considering this. In addition, my art biz will be connected with my blog and as more specifics (contact info, etc.) are made available I don't want them left vulnerable to scrutiny or to people who would seek to hurt/embarrass them. What that means for Everyday Occasions, I don't know... I think this is a crossroads that many moms who have web businesses are coming to. For me, it was a relief to know that I wasn't the only one contiemplating this! Be a good topic to speak on at the next Blissdom, pehaps? Thank You, Darcy. I’m late to the comment party but I was so moved by your post and point of view that I just had to reply. I’m pretty much in tears, in fact, I was so moved.

Yes, I do use pseudonyms for my family and I’m careful about my content. For instance, when the Hubs was deployed I didn’t post locations, details, etc. My family is a huge part of my blogging subject matter, but I’m feeling a change in the wind…and reading this heart-felt post confirms some of what I’ve been feeling.

I’ve been considering not blogging as much about my boys and the hubs and focusing more on my art. Not because I don’t think them worthy of being shared but because, the Bubs is getting to be older and more aware of what I blog about and the Hubs is going through some major health things that I’m sure he’d rather not have blabbed about. It’s out of protection and my respect/love for them that I am considering this. In addition, my art biz will be connected with my blog and as more specifics (contact info, etc.) are made available I don’t want them left vulnerable to scrutiny or to people who would seek to hurt/embarrass them. What that means for Everyday Occasions, I don’t know…

I think this is a crossroads that many moms who have web businesses are coming to. For me, it was a relief to know that I wasn’t the only one contiemplating this! Be a good topic to speak on at the next Blissdom, pehaps?

Thank You, Darcy.

]]> By: Gary http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12473 Gary Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:28:46 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12473 I wasn't meant for my comments to be from a masculine viewpoint, but they certainly were written as someone who uses the web a fair bit every day :) Is there an underlying difference between how an average Dad blogger and Mum Blogger approach this topic? I wasn’t meant for my comments to be from a masculine viewpoint, but they certainly were written as someone who uses the web a fair bit every day :)

Is there an underlying difference between how an average Dad blogger and Mum Blogger approach this topic?

]]> By: Kimba http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12472 Kimba Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:12:07 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12472 Big sigh from me. Because I can relate. I've never used my husbands name or my boys names...I don't think so, anyway. And I've always stayed personally anonymous for the sake of my family. Not that I'm afraid some psycho-stalker is going to come rob me of my children and my spray paint. It's just that I don't want someone to be able to search on my kid's names and find them on my blog a few years down the road. Same thing for my husband. He's a pretty private guy and I wouldn't want him to have to deal with someone at work saying "Hey! I saw the inside of your bedroom on your wife's blog yesterday. Nice undies on the floor!" That left me with a huge dilemma for Blissdom this year. I felt like I had to use a last name since I was speaking. I guess I could have gone all Madonna and stuck with just Kimba but it felt a bit pretentious. So I debated using my maiden name...which I don't like. Or even coming up with a blogging pseudonym. I have a hilarious list of names given to me by a good friend. In the end, I just flipped a coin and went with my real name. I still don't have it anywhere on my blog and I'll keep it that way. And I'll still keep my family anonymous. At least that way it will take a little more effort than a casual name search to make the connection. But I'm really struggling as I try and evolve my blog from a House Blog to a Home Blog. By design, that requires a little more personal stuff so I'm trying to find the balance. .-= Kimba´s last blog ..<a href="http://asoftplace.net/2010/02/diy-day-with-lisa-leonard-designs/" rel="nofollow">DIY Day with Lisa Leonard Designs</a> =-. Big sigh from me. Because I can relate. I’ve never used my husbands name or my boys names…I don’t think so, anyway. And I’ve always stayed personally anonymous for the sake of my family.

Not that I’m afraid some psycho-stalker is going to come rob me of my children and my spray paint. It’s just that I don’t want someone to be able to search on my kid’s names and find them on my blog a few years down the road. Same thing for my husband. He’s a pretty private guy and I wouldn’t want him to have to deal with someone at work saying “Hey! I saw the inside of your bedroom on your wife’s blog yesterday. Nice undies on the floor!”

That left me with a huge dilemma for Blissdom this year. I felt like I had to use a last name since I was speaking. I guess I could have gone all Madonna and stuck with just Kimba but it felt a bit pretentious. So I debated using my maiden name…which I don’t like. Or even coming up with a blogging pseudonym. I have a hilarious list of names given to me by a good friend. In the end, I just flipped a coin and went with my real name.

I still don’t have it anywhere on my blog and I’ll keep it that way. And I’ll still keep my family anonymous. At least that way it will take a little more effort than a casual name search to make the connection.

But I’m really struggling as I try and evolve my blog from a House Blog to a Home Blog. By design, that requires a little more personal stuff so I’m trying to find the balance.
Kimba´s last blog ..DIY Day with Lisa Leonard Designs My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12454 Darcy Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:58:27 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12454 Thank you all - each of you who took time to respond. You are all such a thoughtful, conscientious bunch. And I'm lucky that you all live in my computer. I'm grateful for the comments and the emails. xoxoxo! Thank you all – each of you who took time to respond. You are all such a thoughtful, conscientious bunch. And I’m lucky that you all live in my computer. I’m grateful for the comments and the emails. xoxoxo!

]]> By: lesley http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12441 lesley Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:02:50 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12441 I had a blog on homeschoolblogger and one day in my email I found that someone had contacted me about homeschool information because of it and it wasnt anything major just normal questions and i didnt have anything on the blogg about my kids names just initals. but it freeked me out!! so i went and deleated EVERYTHING! I live in a small town and everyone knows you business anyway so i didnt want to give anyone a reason to talk about me or my family. i have thought about doing another one. and using fake names and stuff but i am so scared that someone could use information to kidnapp or hurt my kids. I got alot of information about homeschooling in my area from someones blogg so i know the importance of helping someone but for me it is just to big of a risk. i dont even have a facebook acct. lol. I had a blog on homeschoolblogger and one day in my email I found that someone had contacted me about homeschool information because of it and it wasnt anything major just normal questions and i didnt have anything on the blogg about my kids names just initals. but it freeked me out!! so i went and deleated EVERYTHING! I live in a small town and everyone knows you business anyway so i didnt want to give anyone a reason to talk about me or my family. i have thought about doing another one. and using fake names and stuff but i am so scared that someone could use information to kidnapp or hurt my kids. I got alot of information about homeschooling in my area from someones blogg so i know the importance of helping someone but for me it is just to big of a risk. i dont even have a facebook acct. lol.

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12439 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:52:26 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12439 I think your blog is a great example of a delicate balance... blogging about the kids peripherally. They are mentioned, but not as the sole focus of the blog. I think you're a great mom, too. :) I think your blog is a great example of a delicate balance… blogging about the kids peripherally. They are mentioned, but not as the sole focus of the blog.

I think you’re a great mom, too. :)

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12438 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:50:25 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12438 I watched as your blog moved from semi-private to "outted" when Christian passed. I totally understood wanting the world to know about his life so we could understand how special he is. And I've been watching how you've handled your boys' names since then, too. You have a unique situation in that you blog so that his name will be remembered, so that his stories can be out there for all to remember. And at the same time, you still have to balance that with the privacy your older boys will want. It's an interesting and thoughtful dynamic, for sure, and I'm so glad you weighed in. xoxo I watched as your blog moved from semi-private to “outted” when Christian passed. I totally understood wanting the world to know about his life so we could understand how special he is. And I’ve been watching how you’ve handled your boys’ names since then, too. You have a unique situation in that you blog so that his name will be remembered, so that his stories can be out there for all to remember. And at the same time, you still have to balance that with the privacy your older boys will want. It’s an interesting and thoughtful dynamic, for sure, and I’m so glad you weighed in. xoxo

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12437 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:43:11 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12437 With your husband in the role of "public servant", I suppose it would change how you blog since he is already in the public spotlight - at least within your small church community. Interesting... With your husband in the role of “public servant”, I suppose it would change how you blog since he is already in the public spotlight – at least within your small church community. Interesting…

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12436 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:40:48 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12436 You bring up another good point - how to you handle other people's kids on your blog? I don't use other children's names on my blog. My kids' friends or my friends' kids, for example, show up once in awhile from field trips or get-togethers. Children I photograph professionally - I don't even use their names publicly either. I just feel like it's not my information to reveal, even if their parents choose to. Since you talk about family members - that's a whole new dynamic. Interesting food for thought! You bring up another good point – how to you handle other people’s kids on your blog?

I don’t use other children’s names on my blog. My kids’ friends or my friends’ kids, for example, show up once in awhile from field trips or get-togethers. Children I photograph professionally – I don’t even use their names publicly either. I just feel like it’s not my information to reveal, even if their parents choose to.

Since you talk about family members – that’s a whole new dynamic. Interesting food for thought!

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12435 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:35:55 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12435 Ohhhh, Mimi. I'm sorry. I would be weirded out, too. And perhaps you raise a good point - if we're much more comfortable with those at a safe distance reading our blogs, maybe we're revealing too much. I have several local people read my blog, and I'm pretty comfortable with it. I've met most of them, and they are really good people who share many of the same interests, same struggles, same stinkin' awful weather. ;) If something happened to me, like happened to you though, I bet I'd reevaluate really quickly. Ohhhh, Mimi. I’m sorry. I would be weirded out, too. And perhaps you raise a good point – if we’re much more comfortable with those at a safe distance reading our blogs, maybe we’re revealing too much.

I have several local people read my blog, and I’m pretty comfortable with it. I’ve met most of them, and they are really good people who share many of the same interests, same struggles, same stinkin’ awful weather. ;) If something happened to me, like happened to you though, I bet I’d reevaluate really quickly.

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12434 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:30:30 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12434 I'm happy for you! People are often surprised how authentic those relationships can be. And, yeah. I'm sooo with ya' on the other. I’m happy for you! People are often surprised how authentic those relationships can be.

And, yeah. I’m sooo with ya’ on the other.

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12433 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:28:47 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12433 Keeping in touch with family was the reason I started blogging on a public domain, too. "I don’t want to give my children any more reason to be in therapy. " lol! Keeping in touch with family was the reason I started blogging on a public domain, too.

“I don’t want to give my children any more reason to be in therapy. ” lol!

]]> By: Darcy http://www.my3boybarians.com/2010/02/blogging-with-the-mother-hen/comment-page-1/#comment-12432 Darcy Mon, 22 Feb 2010 16:27:24 +0000 http://www.my3boybarians.com/?p=1678#comment-12432 Ha! That they ask to be featured. "Several of their friends’ moms read my blog, and I think it would embarrass them if kids started teasing them about something they did or said." Great point! Ha! That they ask to be featured.

“Several of their friends’ moms read my blog, and I think it would embarrass them if kids started teasing them about something they did or said.” Great point!

]]>